can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
