gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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