i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize