is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
