this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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