Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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