I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
