I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
