Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
