doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
