My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
