I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
