The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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