Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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