Is it normal to miss your booty call?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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