i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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