She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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