Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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