New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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