i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
