the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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