drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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