That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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