my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
