Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
two words...techno handjob
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
