btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
