and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
