I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize