i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
