There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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