Apparently you make a good broom.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
