YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
