even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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