i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
