I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
two words...techno handjob
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize