hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize