hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
