I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
