You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
