I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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