I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
