called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
