We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
