I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
