Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
