dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
