small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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