So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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