Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
