Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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