Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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