Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
