Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
