When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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