I'm drive I can fine osifer
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize