he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
