I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
dude. I can hear the air.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
