Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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