3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
