Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
