Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
